I am proud of you

Dear younger me,

I am proud of you.

I know exactly where you're from. I know that you are poor. I know that your clothes are often crummy and out of style. I know that you were homeless. And I know that you do your best to hide every bit of that from everyone you know.

I am not proud of you for those things, and I am not proud of you in spite of them either. Those things aren't you. They are your circumstances, not your potential. Walk every day toward where you can be, not where you are.

I am proud of you because I know exactly what you are capable of and I know exactly what you will accomplish. I just wish that you knew it, too. I would tell you all about it, but I don't want to ruin the surprise.

You act tough, like nothing bothers you, but remember that I know better.

It may be scary to put that out there, but don't worry. I promise we are okay.

Postscript - not for him, but for you

Being proud is dangerous; so is being ashamed. I never wrestled with pride. All I ever wanted was to not be ashamed of what I did or didn't have. Almost all of my closest friends did an amazing job of never making me feel less than, despite the vast difference in our circumstances, and their parents did equally well. There were only a couple of times I felt looked down upon, but in hindsight, I think that was more my issue than theirs.

Encourage kids (and yourself) to be kind to others who have less. It doesn't mean you have to go out and be their best friend just to make them feel better. I can tell you from experience that charity in the form of pity only makes matters worse; just see people for who they are. If your family is comfortable, then be the host home for get-togethers. Some kids are just too embarrassed to ask their friends to spend the night at their house, trust me.